


I'm sorry that this is our ending.

by DegrassiFanatic



Series: Character Study [7]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Gen, Gwen has a few lines, Heavy Angst, M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 14:10:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DegrassiFanatic/pseuds/DegrassiFanatic
Summary: He will marry a woman in two years, who has hauntingly similar dark hair as Merlin. He will marry a woman in two years, who has the wrong shade of blue in her eyes.After three years of marriage she’ll give birth to a child. The child will have the right shade of dark hair and the right shade of blue in his eyes.And when his wife asks what they shall name him. He’ll respond within a heartbeat.“Merlin. Let’s name him Merlin.”“That’s an odd name.” she’ll reply.“It was my friend’s name.”--------------------------------------------ANSGT FEST





	I'm sorry that this is our ending.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I am crying. I may or may not have created a sadder ending than what's actually canon.

Sometimes he wished he never met Merlin. That he had shut his mouth that day he came into Camelot or he had stayed in Ealdor. That he had let Arthur die from the hands of a witch or from drinking a poisoned goblet. Anything that would’ve made sure he and Merlin never crossed paths only to have ended their companionship here.

 

He wasn’t quite sure when the companionship ever started. Maybe it was when he was appointed Arthur’s manservant. Or, when he had drank poison for him and when Merlin hit the ground, all he could think was _please no, please don’t let this happen_.

 

Whenever it had started, it had ended like this.

 

It ended with Merlin being in the dungeons, awaiting for execution the next day. It ended when Merlin saved Arthur’s life from yet another sorceress who was hell bent on destroying Camelot. It ended when Arthur came down to visit him one last time.

 

He walked down to the last cell that had never been occupied by any prisoner ever in Camelot. He walked down to the last cell because Merlin had always been different. And, being different is what has condemned him to death.

 

He sat down on the cold ground, opposite of Merlin who was on the other side.

 

“I tried to get my father to change his mind. I’m sorry.” he knows an apology won’t be enough to forgive what will happen tomorrow but, maybe it will ease his own mind.

 

“It’s okay.” Merlin says and he’s always been quite the liar because, this entire situation is far from _okay_. “Can you ever forgive me? ”

 

Now is not the time to keep up false pretenses, so he’ll let himself become raw with emotion because this might, _will_ , be the last conversation he and Merlin will have.

 

Unless his father is wrong, and that even sorcerers go to heaven. He’s sure that Merlin will be an exception because he’s always been the exception. There has never been another like him.

 

He doesn’t forgive Merlin because he doesn’t need to. Merlin did what he did to survive and, Arthur has learned through his years, that there is no shame in surviving.

 

“Can you forgive me?” he finally answers back, as he reaches through the bars to hold Merlin’s hand one last time.

 

“Yes. In a heartbeat.”

 

“There’s your answer.” and after a pause, he’s gone back to Prince Arthur who’s talking to his uncivilised manservant. “You were always so poetic, you girl.”

 

“Better than a prat.”

 

They’ll spend the rest of the night talking about the old times when Merlin and Arthur were just that. The times when they weren’t prince or manservant or the times to come when they’ll be patriot and traitor.

 

* * *

 

Uther asks his son to do the unthinkable when Merlin is on the pyre, ready to burn for sins he did not commit. Arthur is near the townsfolk, standing a few feet away from Merlin. He refuses to let Merlin go through this alone when he, himself, has never gone through a battle without Merlin by his side since he came to Camelot.

 

A servant, Gwen, delivers the news to him, with Merlin in earshot.

 

“Arthur, the king wants you to light pyre.” she informs tentatively.

 

“How can he expect me to burn my own friend?”

 

Merlin will remember it as a bittersweet memory, when Arthur called Merlin his friend for the first and last time.

 

“He wants you to think of this as a lesson, that no matter how close you can be with someone they can betray you. ” and she sounds like her heart is being ripped in two and Arthur just might think it is.

 

“But, Merlin hasn’t betrayed me. He’s - ”

 

He’s interrupted by Merlin’s soft voice.

 

“Arthur, just do it.” he speaks, “I’d rather it be by your hands than an impersonal hand of another.”

 

He doesn’t know how Merlin isn’t in tears because it’s one thing to die but another to die at the hands of a friend who was meant to be more.

 

However, in his head somewhere, he knows that Merlin is braver than any knight, braver than himself.

 

He grabs the torch not because the king commanded it but, because Merlin asked of it.

 

“I’m sorry that this is our ending.” he cries because he doesn’t care that he’s in front of citizens or his father, he cries because this might be the last emotion he ever shows again.

 

“I’m sorry we never got a real beginning.”

 

With the last words, he lights the pyre and he turns around because no amount of power, rank, or even magic could ever make Arthur want to see a friend, Merlin burned.

 

* * *

 

Arthur will not marry Guinevere because her heart belongs with Lancelot as his did with Merlin.

 

Arthur will not marry Guinevere because he does not love her anymore. He stops loving when Merlin’s ashes are swept away.

 

In two years, Arthur will have a gaping hole in his chest. It only grows when his father asks him to court a princess.

 

He will marry a woman in two years, who has hauntingly similar dark hair as Merlin. He will marry a woman in two years, who has the wrong shade of blue in her eyes.

 

After three years of marriage she’ll give birth to a child. The child will have the right shade of dark hair and the right shade of blue in his eyes.

 

And when his wife asks what they shall name him. He’ll respond within a heartbeat.

 

“Merlin. Let’s name him Merlin.”

 

“That’s an odd name.” she’ll reply.

 

“It was my friend’s name.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and leave comments and kudos.  
> 


End file.
